July 5, 2007 1:00 pm

Reality is definitely stranger than fiction.

Right now I’m watching this Chinese show which is basically a Chinese rapper contest – with very little rapping – they just dance around to American rap and grab a mic once in a while. This is the most Chinglish (Chinese/English) thing I’ve seen on TV yet, I guess because there really aren’t any translations for “hip hop”, “popping”, and “B-boy”. Haha, Lord this is weird.

So far the judges (two Chinese guys as well – they look like they might actually be rappers?) have shown the contestants how to hide a (fake) gun in their waistband and how to find the right white shoes. Then all the (male) contestants had to posture (to Big Boi from Outkast’s “I Like the Way You Move”) and were judged, and several small groups performed a little dance number. None of the music was bleeped out, I suppose because no one really grasps the meaning of “shake that ass” or “my n----”…? One funny thing was when a bunch of guys grabbed mics and sang, “Shake that X for me”, while the same “Shake that X for me” flashed across the screen in some neon green English font. But the music was “Shake that ass for me”. So were the Chinese guys singing the clean version? Was it a mistranslation? Do they even know what ‘ass’ is, or do they think it’s really ‘X’? I’m so confused!

We’re having a big party at the hotel tomorrow – Alfred is returning to Atlanta this weekend, and Eric has to leave us early due to a ROTC test back at UC. And it’s the last weekend for the rest of our group. We leave for Xi’an on Friday the 13th. We’re going to play some ridiculously American music, lots of food and 啤酒, and hopefully some general craziness. Alfred is inviting the three classes he taught over the last two months – so hopefully we’ll all get our dance on.

I am almost to the end of my doctor imposed contact lens ban. I got a minor eye infection the day before (!) coming to China, so the doctor I was able to see at the last minute back in Cincy gave me drops and asked me to not wear my contacts for two to four weeks. If I can make it until Sunday, that’d be exactly four weeks. I’m really tempted to stop wearing glasses and start up the contacts right now, but I’m going to try to hold out. I just really miss wearing contacts. I feel more attractive and confident with contacts, though I’m not really trying to impress anyone here.

In other news, I want Graeters peach ice cream and cheddar cheese. But not at the same time.