June 23, 2007

The American Gunshow 7, originally uploaded by eiratansey.

I think there was a laxative commercial a few years ago where they shamelessly used the James Brown song “I Feel Good”. I always thought that was pretty dumb, but once I have a real shit I will probably jump for joy. God, this sucks. Well, I found some laxatives today, so godspeed you good poop.

This was a rather nice weekend (save for the lack of pooping). Yesterday I was feeling quite out of sorts and flu-y, but I went to Discovery Kingdom with the group. Discovery Kingdom I something like a mini Chinese Disney World. I only went on the mild(er) rides like the carousel and bumper cars, as my stomach would have declared an insurrection against anything much more violent.

The highlight of the park, by far, was the “American Gun Show” – an amazing slapstick, cops n’ robbers production complete with police car 180s (in the space of about six feet), Evel Knievel motorcycle jumps, sexy girls doing martial arts, and a fake helicopter lifting about six inches from the top of the set. (On a random note, I just found Seinfeld on TV! Never got into the show back home, but anything American right now tickles my fancy). Oh, and at the end of the “American Gun Show”, they played some Ol’ Dirty Bastard. Nice. The whole thing was so janky, a very flimsy looking (though it must be strong, since all these people were climbing on it and jumping off) set of a building on essentially a parking lot with covered seating surrounding it. We met some of the actors afterward, they were American, British, and German. The best was when they were like “Oh yeah, the guy on fire at the end is from Ohio, too” (really). Awesome. And the motorcycle guys were super sexy, yum.

Today turned out to be a day of Americans in Dalian: we went downtown and hit up Starbucks, KFC, Wal-Mat and Pizza Hut. I got so blissed out at Starbucks – a real cup of brewed coffee and they had an English language (state-published, probably China Daily) newspaper. All the same, it was heaven to read a newspaper. I found out the Reds are still at the bottom of the division. We met some expats there who told us about a Dalian expat website they made.

Picked up some intriguing stuff at Wal-Mart – jasmine hand cream and jasmine mints (Jade has gotten us hooked on the jasmine mints, and bought several 12-pack cartons for her kids who also love them). Then we found a pharmacy where Jade translated to find some laxatives (from Germany!) for me. God, I hope they kick in soon. My stomach keeps having insane cramps.

My best buy of the day – a 164 yuan dress from a nice Chinese department store (on sale!). It’s a nice girly sundress that’s white with punchy green blob flowers. I love it – it needs some slight alterations, but they are simple – I could probably manage them here even with my tiny travel sewing kit. Planning to wear it to Mom’s wedding, though finding good shoes to go with it might be a challenge – one I will have to save for the states, since I am Bigfoot compared to Chinese ladies.

We helped some students with their songs for the upcoming English song contest. Started watching “300” with some from our group. Interesting, so far. Off to bed!